Sometimes, anger gets the best of people. Anger is a powerful emotion, and it’s difficult for many people to control. One area I see anger impacting is pet ownership. I’ve seen people giving away their pets out of anger that the pet isn’t trained properly. I’ve read articles about people who killed their pets for not being house trained.

Most of the time, anger at a pet doesn’t resort in something drastic. Maybe someone “pops” their dog for jumping, even though they know that hitting animals is not the best way to train them. Maybe they yell at a new puppy for chewing a shoe while they were at work. Many people are angry with their spouse or child for not taking care of a pet that was supposed to be their responsibility.

While I’m not an expert, this is my advice for dealing with anger as a pet owner.

The first step is to admit that you’re angry. You may need to admit that to yourself, spouse, or child. No problem can be solved before it is acknowledged.

Next, control your first impulse. It may be screaming, blaming, or physical violence. People must realize that giving in to their impulses in a fit of rage isn’t going to make things better. As a high school teacher and youth leader, I’ve listened to a lot of teens (boys, especially) tell me that punching walls or trees makes them feel better. The fact is: that isn’t true. It may be true for a fleeting moment, but the pain it causes them and those around them will last much longer than the temporary release that giving in to anger provides. Learning to deal with anger in a healthy way will provide both quick relief and long-term solutions. If this step seems impossible, it may be time to talk to a professional about dealing with anger.

Finally, ask for help. Help may come from a professional, friend, or spouse. If the stress of caring for a pet is too much and a pet owner feels angry often, a discussion needs to happen. Unless someone lives alone and bears sole responsibility for an animal, one person shouldn’t be taking the dog out every time, scooping the litter every time, feeding the pets every time, buying pet food every time, and also taking the pet to the vet every time. Work with your household to make sure everyone is taking care of some part of their responsibility every day.

(One way to take some work out of pet ownership is to order food, litter, and other supplies from Chewy.com. They have free shipping on orders over $49, a discount for autoship, and a wide variety of pet supplies. If you use my link, I earn a commission at no cost to you.)

Remember that a pet behaves according to its instincts and training. Try not to place blame on your fur baby. It’s normal to “lose your cool” every once in a while, but if you find yourself abusing an animal out of anger, please seek help. For more common situations, where the pet is not in danger, seeking the help of a trainer may be in order. If a pet’s behavior is out of control, training the pet can bring peace back to a household.

Take a deep breath and make a plan for dealing with anger in a healthy way. Feel free to comment with feedback or advice that has helped you.