Anger and pet ownership

Sometimes, anger gets the best of people. Anger is a powerful emotion, and it’s difficult for many people to control. One area I see anger impacting is pet ownership. I’ve seen people giving away their pets out of anger that the pet isn’t trained properly. I’ve read articles about people who killed their pets for not being house trained.

Most of the time, anger at a pet doesn’t resort in something drastic. Maybe someone “pops” their dog for jumping, even though they know that hitting animals is not the best way to train them. Maybe they yell at a new puppy for chewing a shoe while they were at work. Many people are angry with their spouse or child for not taking care of a pet that was supposed to be their responsibility.

While I’m not an expert, this is my advice for dealing with anger as a pet owner.

The first step is to admit that you’re angry. You may need to admit that to yourself, spouse, or child. No problem can be solved before it is acknowledged.

Next, control your first impulse. It may be screaming, blaming, or physical violence. People must realize that giving in to their impulses in a fit of rage isn’t going to make things better. As a high school teacher and youth leader, I’ve listened to a lot of teens (boys, especially) tell me that punching walls or trees makes them feel better. The fact is: that isn’t true. It may be true for a fleeting moment, but the pain it causes them and those around them will last much longer than the temporary release that giving in to anger provides. Learning to deal with anger in a healthy way will provide both quick relief and long-term solutions. If this step seems impossible, it may be time to talk to a professional about dealing with anger.

Finally, ask for help. Help may come from a professional, friend, or spouse. If the stress of caring for a pet is too much and a pet owner feels angry often, a discussion needs to happen. Unless someone lives alone and bears sole responsibility for an animal, one person shouldn’t be taking the dog out every time, scooping the litter every time, feeding the pets every time, buying pet food every time, and also taking the pet to the vet every time. Work with your household to make sure everyone is taking care of some part of their responsibility every day.

(One way to take some work out of pet ownership is to order food, litter, and other supplies from Chewy.com. They have free shipping on orders over $49, a discount for autoship, and a wide variety of pet supplies. If you use my link, I earn a commission at no cost to you.)

Remember that a pet behaves according to its instincts and training. Try not to place blame on your fur baby. It’s normal to “lose your cool” every once in a while, but if you find yourself abusing an animal out of anger, please seek help. For more common situations, where the pet is not in danger, seeking the help of a trainer may be in order. If a pet’s behavior is out of control, training the pet can bring peace back to a household.

Take a deep breath and make a plan for dealing with anger in a healthy way. Feel free to comment with feedback or advice that has helped you.

Living with Pet Allergies

I’m a terrible patient. All my life, doctors have told me that I’m severely allergic to cats and dogs, and that I must keep a pet-free home.

I own two dogs and a cat. One of the dogs is a giant floof (Akita/German Shepherd hybrid). The cat sleeps on my chest. I’ve been hospitalized five times for allergy-related reasons, including sinus infections, pneumonia, and asthma attacks. Still, I will not give up my pets.

What I did instead was seek out an allergist. The allergist told me I wouldn’t live to 30 if my allergic asthma couldn’t be controlled. Allergy tests determined that I was allergic to cats, dogs, and around 50 pollens and molds. The next thing to come out of her mouth was, of course, that I should live in a pet-free home. I told her giving up my pets wasn’t an option, and lo and behold, she gave me other options. She was the first doctor in two decades to even attempt to help me after I rejected her first piece of advice.

Here are seven ways I deal with my allergies. I hope you find them helpful, but, of course, I also advise a trip to an allergist.

1. I found the right combination of allergy medicine.
I’d grown up being treated with tons of allergy medications and being told not to mix any of them. The allergist explained what medicines I could take at the same time, the maximum dosages of those medicines, and how taking these medicines could affect my liver and kidneys over time. In a little over a month, we found the right combination and my symptoms were greatly reduced. We even did allergy shots, which reduced but didn’t eliminate my symptoms.

2. I eliminated carpet.
When I bought my home, I ripped out all the carpet and replaced it with vinyl plank flooring (any hard floor will do) before I moved in. Carpet holds dust, dust mites, dander, pollen, mold, and all kinds of unsavory things like germs and bad smells. If you think your carpet is clean, go tear up a corner and look at the dirt under it (or Google a video of someone tearing out carpet). Walking over carpet releases that trapped stuff into the air. A home with carpet will never have allergen-free air.

3. I tackled pet dander at the source.
I bathe my dogs regularly, and wipe my cat with allergen-reducing wipes. This reduces pet dander (nothing will eliminate pet dander; that’s why the allergy meds are #1 on the list).

4. I wash my hair before going to bed.
Pollen and dander can be trapped in hair. While you sleep, you’re breathing whatever is on your bedding and hair. If you don’t like sleeping with wet hair or using a blow dryer, you may only need this step during times when your allergies are acting up.

5. I wash everything that’s made of fabric often.
This includes bedding, clothing, couch cushion covers, rugs, my dogs’ blankets, and even curtains. How often they need washing will depend on how bad your allergies are and how many pets you have. I wash bedding every two weeks, couch cushion covers once a quarter, and curtains twice a year. I wash dog blankets and the sheets I use on my couches once a week (I use sheets on my couches so I only have to wash the cushion covers every quarter). I wash rugs once a month and avoid large area rugs (for the same reason I avoid carpet). Allergy-reducing sprays may help between washings, but aren’t as effective as washing.

6. I use an air purifier and clean filters.
My home uses window A/C units. I clean the filters once a month, but I found I also needed an air purifier. If you have central air, make sure you’re cleaning your filter as often as needed (check the filter directions). If you still find the air quality in your home bothersome, there are some really good and relatively cheap air purifiers to check out.

7. I create an allergy safe room when needed.
When my allergies are really bad, I don’t allow my pets in my bedroom. If you sleep 8 hours a night, a third of the air you breathe is the air in your bedroom. That’s why it’s so important to wash bedding and keep pets you’re allergic to out of your room. I break this rule a lot because my cat is adorable and demanding, but when my allergies are flaring up, she has to deal with it.

With lots of caution and a bit of work, it is possible to cope with pet allergies. Drop me a comment if you would like to share tips or advice on living with pet allergies.

How to save a life

These are my suggestions on what to do when your find a stray pet. This assumes that the pet is not acting strangely or aggressively. If a stray is aggressive or possibly rabid, my advice is to call animal control. For advice on saving reasonably calm strays, read on.

If the animal is injured, take it to the vet. If you aren’t willing to pay for a vet visit, take the pet to the shelter (or find someone willing to foot the bill). If the owner isn’t found, you will have to pay for the vet bill.

It’s important to know that you don’t have to call animal control to pick up a friendly, uninjured pet. You don’t have to take a found pet to a kill shelter. You have an obligation to report it found, but you may keep the dog or cat at your home if you like. This is especially important if your local animal control is a high kill shelter, or if it has a reputation for being unclean or unsafe. On the other hand, be realistic. Don’t keep a stray you can’t take care of, as tempting as it may be. Don’t use all your finances on its medical bills, and don’t bring it home if your landlord forbids pets.

You must call animal control (or whoever deals with lost and found animals in your area) and file a found pet report. If you skip this step, you are stealing the pet and are at risk of being arrested. It only takes a few minutes. File the report. The shelter or a vet’s office will also scan for a microchip. It’s 2019. Just because the dog lost his collar doesn’t mean that the owner can’t be found

It may be relatively easy to find the owner. The pet may have a collar with owner’s information. If it has a rabies tag, the number on the tag can probably be traced by a vet’s office to the owner. You can try walking door to door in the neighborhood to see if anyone recognizes the pet. You can make flyers to post in the area the pet was found (this will be effective if the owner lives nearby and is searching for their pet). You can post on Facebook groups (lots of cities have lost and found pet groups).

If the pet is uninjured, friendly, and it seems unlikely that the owner will be found soon, it may need a bath, brushing, nail clipping, or flea treatment. Groomers are an option if you aren’t prepared to take care of these steps. Personally, I always keep nail clippers, flea shampoo, and brushes ready for just such an occasion. I also keep spare food bowls, collars, a surplus of pet food, and a room in my house that can be used to quarantine flea-ridden pets, because I’m the crazy animal lady and my dear husband is very supportive.

Chewy.com has all sorts of pet supplies and free shipping on orders over $49!

Sort out your priorities. Look at the animal in front of you. What should be done first? You may need to feed the pet and give it water before anything else can be done. (Beware feeding it too much too fast, or allowing an overheated animal to drink a lot of very cold water. Basically, all changes should happen slowly or the animal could go into shock.) It may be so covered in fleas that you can’t take it into your house until a trip to the vet has been taken and a flea pill has begun working. If it has been obviously abused, you may want to call animal control or the police instead of the number on its collar. Every situation is different because every animal is unique. Judgement calls will have to be made. For example, if a stray cat has a runny nose and is sneezing, you shouldn’t bring that cat into a house with healthy cats.

Once the animal is comfortable (the right temperature, flea free, fed, watered, clean, and mat-free), the best thing to do is let it rest and get used to its surroundings. Presumably, a lot of changes just happened. It may be agitated, or it may seem chill. Even if the pet seems chill, be understanding, kind, and gentle. Take note of any health problems or potential health problems you notice. Were there so many fleas that the animal may be anemic? Does it have diarrhea? Does it have worms? Does it have any cuts or sore spots that you noticed during the bath?

If the owner isn’t found in several days, or if it seems very unlikely that an owner will be found, the pet will need a trip to the vet. It should be given vaccines if it didn’t have a rabies tag. It may require a special diet to gain weight. It may have worms. The vet may suggest a heartworm test and heartworm prevention. The vet may catch an injury you missed (cats, especially, are very good at hiding pain, and their skin often hides puncture wounds).

Hopefully, the pet can be reunited with its owner.

If not, you will be well on your way to owning a new pet. Welcome to the crazy animal people club.

Resources
http://www.lostdogsflorida.org/found-dog.html
https://pets.webmd.com/cats/guide/upper-respiratory-infection-cats#1
https://www.petmd.com/blogs/nutritionnuggets/jcoates/2013/oct/the-right-way-to-feed-dog-that-has-been-starved-30937

(I am a Chewy.com affiliate and will earn money if you buy something on that website after clicking that link. Just a legal FYI. I really use them and think they’re awesome!)

In defense of crazy cat ladies everywhere: why we feed the strays

Today, I enjoyed working in the yard.

For those of you who don’t live in Florida, January is a great time to clean the yard because the snakes aren’t out and it’s usually less than 80 degrees.

It began with piddling. (The traipsing kind of piddling, not the urinating kind of piddling). I was enjoying my three-day weekend and the sunshine. I had just finished mulching the blueberry bushes with pine straw (just in case it ever gets cold enough to hurt them). I was looking around the yard for just any old thing to do.

I found a stinging nettle (thistle) and moseyed to the shed to get the shovel. I dug up the first prickly trespasser and quickly found another. Four nettles later, it dawned on me that the nettles were quite possibly the reason Mason has been licking his paws lately.

Now on a mission, I walked the entire yard in search of anything that could possibly hurt the fur babies. I found some fire ant beds and went inside to get some grits. (They probably don’t work, but my husband believes in them, so I use them anyway. My theory is that it bothers them and they move. His theory is that they eat the grits, the grits expand in their stomachs, and they die.) I sprinkled and sprinkled and then I heard it. The tiniest, most pitiful meow.

I kept sprinkling. No, I told myself. No more kittens.

Before I knew it, the cat was not only in my field of vision–it was walking towards me, meowing the whole way. I looked up with the terrifying thought that all those meows had to be from kittens. I looked over the whole yard quickly. No, those tiny meows were definitely coming from the full-grown cat in front of me. Good. At least there were no kittens.

I tried to ignore her, I really did. (Instinctively, I knew it was a her. Later we checked and confirmed it.) But she was so skinny. And she was begging me for help.

I ran out of grits and went inside to throw the container away. I couldn’t stop myself. I grabbed a spare food bowl (who keeps spare food bowls? Crazy animal people; that’s who) and filled it with Luna’s expensive all natural dye-free cat food. (I buy it from chewy.com: Cat Chow Naturals Indoor.)

Sure enough, the cat was still there when I returned. I fed her and she let me pet her. I took a photo and posted her on Facebook on the off chance that she was someone’s lost pet. It was at that moment that my husband rounded the corner from working in his shed and saw the cat. He smiled and told me that’s the cat he’s been petting and the neighbor sometimes feeds. Of course it is. No way I can just find its home. No, it always has to be an unwanted stray or a feral in my yard. Never a simple lost pet.

Why do I feed the strays? Obviously, partly because I’m a sappy old woman with a soft spot the size of Mars in my otherwise cold, hard heart.

There are other reasons, though. Cats keep mice and snakes out of the yard (and thus out of the house.) A well-fed cat is less likely to contribute the the decline in bird populations. Plus, feeding the strays allows crazy animal people to form a relationship with them and get them proper healthcare. Cats need vaccines, especially if they’re outside interacting with other cats. They also need to be spayed or neutered so that they don’t contribute to the overpopulation problem.

Outdoor cats have an average lifespan of only 2-3 years. In the United States, they have predators like hawks and coyotes. They also frequently get run over and die from vaccine-preventable diseases.

Indoor cats have lifespans of up to 20 years because of the safety of the indoors combined with the effectiveness of veterinary medicine.

So when a stray begs me for help, I feel that I have a moral obligation to help it. Strays did not choose to be abandoned. Ferals did not choose to be born in the wild. Humans have cause their predicament, and it’s up to humans to fix it.

I haven’t decided what to name her yet, but I think I accidentally got a new cat today. I’m blaming Mason. This all started with digging up the nettles because the doofus doesn’t know not to step on them.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

References
https://www.southernliving.com/garden/grumpy-gardener/controlling-fire-ants
https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2010/05/scent-makes-mice-run-scared
https://www.animalwised.com/cats-killing-birds-separating-fact-from-myth-1366.html
https://www.alleycat.org/resources/feral-and-stray-cats-an-important-difference/
https://www.alleycat.org/our-work/trap-neuter-return/

(I am a chewy.com affiliate and will earn money if you buy Luna’s food from them after clicking my link, by the way.)

“Rehoming” Pets: The Guilt-Free Euphemism Plaguing the Nation

All too often, I encounter humans “rehoming” their pets.

Let’s be honest about the word “rehoming:” it means that someone is giving away or selling their pet instead of providing a forever home. I am not a fan of renaming something to make someone feel less guilty about their actions.

A euphemism is “the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant,” according to Merriam-Webster.

Giving away or selling (the term “rehoming fee” isn’t fooling anyone) an animal that was supposed to be a pet is something that used to be met with some degree of guilt or shame. The root of “rehoming” is the pleasant “home,” which serves to make the euphemism seem less harsh than “getting rid of my family member.” Does my tone sound harsh? I hope it does. These humans need a wake-up call. Giving away animals can place them in an unsafe home. Charging a “rehoming fee” does not mean that the animal will not be neglected or abused, contrary to a popular social media delusion. The best way to ensure your pet is never abused is to keep it and care for it for its entire natural life. Like you promised to do. When you adopted it.

I am not complaining about people who foster animals. Foster homes are an important way animal shelters reduce their kill rates or increase their intake and adoption rates. There’s a difference between agreeing to hold a pet until it can find a home and adopting a pet. Foster pet parents are doing a hard job. Kudos to them. I’ll write about them some day.

I am writing about humans who commit to care for an animal and then fail that animal. I see chronic “pet rehomers” who are constantly accepting free animals, then turning around and selling them. I know people who can’t commit to anything who constantly adopt puppies and give them away once they graduate the puppy stage. I see people who can’t take responsibility for their actions constantly changing their mind about which pet they want, at the expense of their previous pets.

People who are giving away their pets often have very similar reasons (hereafter referred to as “excuses”) for why “it just didn’t work out:”

My significant other doesn’t like the pet
We just don’t have enough time for them
The pet got too large
The pet is too dirty and/or not potty trained
I suddenly have a medical excuse for giving away the pet that I miraculously did not have or completely ignored before I committed to caring for the pet
The pet is destroying things
The pet is a threat to my children’s safety

All these excuses are terrible for the following reasons:

Their significant other was: A) okay with getting the pet, B) not properly involved in the pet adoption process, or C) preceded by the pet. In which case: A) they need to take responsibility for their choices, B) their relationship lacks communication and giving away their pet isn’t going to magically fix it; they have work to do and better start talking to each other instead of giving their pet away, or C) they’re better off getting rid of the significant other than the pet.
They knew how much time they had when they got the pet. All future decisions that impact how much free time they have should be made with the knowledge that they are responsible for a pet.
If they couldn’t predict the future size of a pet, a vet could have. If they neither did research nor took the pet to a veterinarian, they were being pretty bad owners.
Pets are messy. Everyone should go into the pet adoption process with that knowledge. Dogs need to be potty trained. Cat and rabbit litter boxes needs to be cleaned. For other animals, the cage or aquarium will need to be cleaned.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen someone who is allergic to cats take in a cat, deal with the symptoms for a while, then “rehome” the cat. I’ve seen people do the same thing when they know their kid is allergic to dogs. I personally am allergic to dogs and cats. I own two dogs and a cat. I have very rarely, at any point in my life, not owned a critter. I have been hospitalized for pneumonia and bronchitis and sinus infections and asthma attacks that were probably all pet-related. I have never (not ONE time in my ENTIRE life) “rehomed” an animal I was allergic to. I knew I had the allergy when I got the pet, and it is my responsibility to take care of my health (take my meds, go to doctors, see allergy specialists) AND my pets. People with allergies should not get pets. As my dad would say, “if you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.” I choose to be dumb, so I tough it out. (One day I’ll write a blog post about living with pets and allergies and give you all my advice on that subject.)
Adopting a pet means taking responsibility for training that animal. Young pets, untrained pets, or pets in a new environment may be destructive. They need training, not to be yelled at, hit, and given away (to the next person who will yell at them, hit them, and give them away.)
Don’t adopt a pet if it may put your child’s safety at risk. Don’t have a child if your animal will be a danger to that child. I’m gonna say this again, slowly: Adopting a pet… means taking responsibility… for training… that animal. Pets must be trained so that they don’t show aggression towards other animals, adult humans, or children. Even if an animal isn’t aggressive, they must be trained so that they won’t hurt other animals or humans. They must be trained not to bite. They must be trained not to jump. They must be trained not to scratch. They must be trained to not knock people over.

I am not advocating for shaming humans who tried and failed at pet parenting. Some humans are just not cut out for pet ownership. Others face truly drastic circumstances. What I am calling for is education before adoption. Too many people are lulled into a false sense of confidence and go into pet adoption completely unprepared. This results in “rehoming” and is bad for pets, humans, and society as a whole.

Humans should do their research before adopting a pet, and the people who allow the adoption should hold them to that. Animal shelters, rescues, and pet stores should not make pet ownership out to be easy. We must stop the idea that anyone can own a dog. We must fight against the idea that every home should have a pet. We must accept the fact that not all humans are capable of providing loving homes to animals. We must screen possible adopters before they become “rehomers.”

If we want to see less pets being given away or sold over silly excuses, we must educate people on the reality of pet ownership. We must do a better job of getting pets into their “furever homes.” We can’t settle for placing a pet with anyone willing to open their home. We need to have honest conversations with possible adopters. We need to ask them their experience with this breed. We need to ask them how much time they can devote to training the dog. We need to ask them if they’re allergic to cats, or if their children are allergic to them. Finally, if we know a human has a history of giving away and selling animals they adopted, we need to stop giving them animals. Sometimes humans have really good intentions, but their lifestyle just isn’t conducive to pet ownership.

If you’re thinking about adopting a pet, that’s great! I invite you to research the type of pet you think you’re interested in. Are you ready to potty train a puppy? Are you prepared for the vet bill that will come after your new cat is spayed? Do you know what to feed a rabbit, and how often? Do you know what species of bird will best fit the dynamic of your home? The internet is one way to find answers, but some of the best information will come from veterinarians, trainers, or other pet owners.

Education isn’t a foolproof way to ensure that no more pets are given away, but I think it’s a great place to start.

Edit: I wrote about pet allergies, as promised: https://pets.poetry.blog/2019/01/26/living-with-pet-allergies/

Saving one animal won’t change the world…

We’ve all heard the saying: saving one animal won’t change the world, but for that animal, the world is changed.

Millions of dogs and cats go through animal shelters each year. According to the ASPCA’s estimates, about 1.5 million shelter animals are euthanized each year. For those who work closely with shelters, or even for those simply paying attention, the numbers can be overwhelming.

Surely, adopting one shelter dog is statistically insignificant. Why, then, do we rescue or adopt one pet, if they’re only a drop in the bucket?

Part of the answer, is, of course, the other half of the saying. Everyone who has adopted a shelter pet knows that the pet’s world is changed forever. It is a beautiful transformation. The cat who wouldn’t come out of the cage becomes ruler of the house. The dog who quivered in fear at an arm raised a bit too high becomes an outgoing lover of fetch. Fur grows in thick and shiny. Bellies fill out and ribs don’t look so prominent after only a few weeks in a loving home.

The rescue animal is not the only one changed by adoption. The human who adopts the shelter pet may find themselves more patient, kind, and gentle than before. They smile more, laugh at little things, and have more energy. Some studies have proven that dog owners live longer, healthier lives, and that children who grow up in homes with dogs have fewer allergies and a decreased risk of asthma. Dog owners also react better to stress.

Saving one animal can change both the adopted and the adopter. Could it also change the world? Maybe not, but it may have positive impacts beyond what is expected. Slowly, perceptions about pet adoption are changing. More animals are being adopted now than in 2011, according to the ASPCA. California has changed their laws to ban the sale of animals that aren’t rescues. This may reduce the number of puppy mills and in turn reduce the number of unwanted dogs euthanized in shelters.

Adopting one animal won’t change the world overnight, but the world is being changed because of rescue advocates. Every saved pet is a story that can be shared. Every story has the potential to change hearts and minds. Every changed heart and mind has the potential to cause policy change.

It may be time to update the saying: saving one animal is the first step to changing the world for all animals.

Resources

https://www.aspca.org/animal-homelessness/shelter-intake-and-surrender/pet-statistics

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-16118-6

https://www.today.com/pets/california-puppy-mill-ban-will-require-pet-stores-sell-rescue-t117511

Welcome to Pets & Poetry

I’m a high school teacher owned by two dogs and a cat.

Luna, the mini panther, runs things around here. All furniture is arranged to her liking. All decor must be approved by her highness. Of course, all guests must be screened before admittance.

Mason is the prankster. At 105 pounds, this German Shepherd/Akita hybrid is the prime suspect in all crimes. It may have looked innocent, but he knew exactly what would happen when he left that squeaky toy right outside the bedroom last night.

Belle is the resident baby. This pitbull/hound mix is a sight to behold. She knows her commands, alright, she just doesn’t always like people to know that. Super smart but super hyper, Belle just wishes it were playtime all the time.